It’s not always easy to be a child. It’s even harder to be the parent of a child. You have to decide about setting rules and keeping them once school starts, and that doesn’t always make you popular with your children.

Talk about the rules your children will be expected to follow as a family. Listen to what they have to say about the rules, and then decide together upon the consequences for not following them. Be prepared for some differences of opinion, but stand your ground. You may want to write out the rules and consequences, have everyone sign them, and then post them where everyone can see them.

One rule you’ll probably set once school begins again for the year is an earlier bedtime than your children have had all summer. Don’t expect your children to be enthused about having to go to bed before 9 p.m. In fact, if your child thanks you for making them go to bed earlier, you probably want to ask them why.

Choose your battles wisely. Yes, you want to deal with direct defiance and disobedience to established rules. However, if your child accidentally forgets a rule, don’t come down on them the first time. Remind them of the rule and consequence, show them grace, and let them know that will be the only time they won’t receive the consequence.

Be consistent about expecting them to obey the rules and then dole out the consequences that you’ve decided upon together. If you’re not consistent in enforcing the rules, what was the use of creating them to begin with?

Praise your children when they follow your rules. It may not seems like a normal thing to do, but giving genuine praise when they’re not expecting it may help your children work harder at obeying your rules.

Here are a few ground rules you may want to establish:

* Determine what age your children can begin dating.

* If they are able to date, all friends and dates must come to your home so you can meet and get to know them.

* They must contact you if plans change to let you know where they will be, who is driving, and when they will return.

* Insist that your teenagers and anyone they are with are not allowed to drink or try drugs while your child is with them.

* Be available to pick your child up if a date isn’t going well.

* Set reasonable curfews during the weekends and insist that they do not go out during the school week.

* Establish rules for using the internet. Talk to them about not viewing sites that contain violence or that glamorize violent acts, sexual sites, or sites that espouse hate crimes. If they cannot follow these rules, move the computer to an area where you can see what sites they are visiting.

* If you don’t mean what you say, don’t say it. Avoid saying that your child is banned from an activity for a week if you won’t follow through with it. Be sure you’re willing to suffer the consequences along with your child.

Be prepared for your child to test your rules. They want to know that you mean what you say, and ultimately that they can trust what you say. If you’re not ready to set rules and keep them when school starts, you may lose your child’s respect.