Give Your Teen Time and Attention
No one likes to feel like they don’t matter or that they’re not wanted. Sometimes, however, teens feel that way even if their family isn’t aware of those feelings. That’s why it’s important to give your teen time and attention. You want them to feel like they are important, not only to you, but also the family as a whole.
Spending time together as a family is something that strong families do. Some teens are more independent than others, and may not need the extra time and attention. However, your teen may need your undivided attention on regular basis - more than you know. Since you know your teen best, you can determine how much time the two of you need to spend together.
Are they going through a hard time at school? They may need to know that you’re available to listen without judging them. You can encourage them by explaining some of the trouble you faced when you were their age. If they know that what they’re going through is common to teens, it may help them feel better about the situation and themselves.
They may have broken up with their boyfriend or girlfriend and need you to reassure them that it’s not the end of the world. You don’t want to give them platitudes about young love or time heals all wounds. Offer them a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.
Perhaps your family has been affected by divorce and your teen feels like the split is their fault. It could also be that since their parents aren’t together anymore they’re feeling vulnerable and that their world has been torn apart. It’s times like this that teens need extra time and attention. You may want to concentrate on them to let them know the breakup of your marriage wasn’t their fault and that you’re not going anywhere. Reassure them that you and your spouse still love them but that you had problems that you couldn’t overcome.
Whatever the situation that makes your teen feel that they need you, you’ll want to know how can you spend more time with them? It’s not as hard as you think. In fact, it could be as easy as eating meals together each night instead of everyone running their separate ways.
You could also try taking up a shared hobby or sport. Has your teen always wanted to try rollerblading? Now would be the perfect time for both of you to take it up. If you have a teen daughter, you may want to spend time going through old photographs and create scrapbooks together – one for each of you.
It’s not really that important what you do to give your teen time and attention. What’s important is that you’re actually spending time together, talking, and listening to what they have to say. They want to know they matter and spending time with them can help accomplish this.
Experts agree that friends and peers are important to children and teens, but there’s no one that can compare to the influence a family has on them. When teens spend regular, quality time with their families, they get the type of support that only families can give. And that support can make a world of difference in their quality of life.
Need More Help?
Here are two guides to help you connect with your teen, so you can help them with the rocky road of being a teenager.
1. Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open.
2. Real Life Guidance to Helping Your Teen in High School includes practical suggestions to help your child find his/her identity, avoid bullies, handle peer pressure and more.
Grab them both to be armed with the easy-to-follow advice at your fingertips. They’re available for instant download, which means you can get the help you need any day of the week, even if it’s the middle of the night.
