Real Life Solutions

Young parents get scared when they hear stories about the “terrible twos.” Take courage, though, you will survive the toddler stage.  It’s not easy to understand why your toddler has a tantrum but at such a young age, a child is consumed with thoughts of themselves.  Everything is about them and how they feel.  Until they are taught how to share, every toy or piece of food they see automatically belongs to them. 

Toddler temper tantrums can have a variety of effects.  Your first thought might be that everyone is focused on you and your screaming child, but getting embarrassed won’t diffuse the situation.  Besides, as a parent, you have many more years of embarrassing situations to look forward to courtesy of your children.  So worrying about what others think during this situation is simply going to stress you and make you feel worse.

Here are a few tips to help you cope during temper tantrums:

1. Ignore the temper tantrum.  This technique works best when at home.  In public places, you don’t want to ever leave your child unattended as a form of punishment.  Good behavior in public begins at home.  Ignoring a toddler is not harsh.  If your child is squirming on the floor screaming for a cookie, continue to talk to them as if you never noticed.  Eventually, they will get the hint and stop screaming. 

2. Avoid instant gratification.  In public, toddlers throw temper tantrums when they are denied something that they want.  Some parents give in to keep their child quiet but a child learns quickly.  Temper tantrums will continue if they know you will cave.  Simply tell them “no” and keep moving.

3. Don’t get angry.  When you scream and they scream the situation is wildly out of control.  You’ll end up crying and your toddler will still be screaming.  In any situation, raised voices mean civilized conversation has ended in favor of basic primal instincts.  Don’t revert back to the days of early man.  Keep using the same calm voice you use when they are behaving to get your child to calm down as well.

4. Praise your toddler when they behave well.  Positive reinforcement is better than negative.  In the absence of positive attention a child will behave badly just to get some attention at all.  Acting out and throwing tantrums may be a cry for attention.  Don’t let it get to this point.  Clap and celebrate when they go to the potty successfully and when they put away their toys.  Good manners such as saying “please” and “thank you” deserve a smile and a hand clap as well.

5. Run errands after nap time.  Kids get punchy when they get tired.  A toddler misbehaves more often if they are dragged around when they are tired. 

6. Carry snacks with you.  Low blood sugar can lead to tantrums.  If you are out longer than anticipated and lunch or dinner time is close at hand, let them eat a healthy snack to keep their hunger pains at bay and sugar levels stable.
 
7. Be consistent in your punishment.  At home, you might use “time out” to deal with a tantrum for bad behavior.  In public do the same.  Sit your child on a bench for five minutes or take them to the car.  Eventually they will learn that you are not a pushover and they will begin to behave.

Visit Dealing with the Terrible Twos and Beyond and learn exactly how to use words to prevent tantrums, and get your kids to do what you want.

It seems like there is no rest of the weary. And, the weary person is usually mom. Moms take care of hearth and home, but who takes care of her? If you are a busy mom, learn to value yourself as a person and schedule personal time.

Personal time is a right of being a person. Each of us has the capacity to nurture others but that type of care takes its toll.

A car is filled with gas to make it run. Eventually the gas runs out and your car won’t move unless the car is replenished with fuel. The same goes for you. Emotional issues can develop when you don’t take the time to take care of your emotional well-being, not to mention the physical results of emotional neglect.

Mom time refuels the tank so that you can give to your family as well as yourself in equal measure. Don’t be ashamed to sit for fifteen minutes doing nothing. In the springtime, relaxing in a hammock under a tree is the perfect getaway from the pressures of the day. Reading a book for 30 minutes can also seem like heaven to many moms.

Here are a few tips to help you fit in much needed “mom” time:

1. Get up early if you have to. When you have kids, the day begins at a hurried pace. Once you hit the ground running, there is no stopping you. Waking 30 minutes to an hour ahead of time means quiet solitude to drink your coffee, read a book, meditate or listen to music.

2. Turn ordinary experiences into major events. When you take a bath, add candles, bubble bath, quiet music and/or an inflatable bath pillow. Your regular bath has now become a spa level experience. If you watch a movie, turn out the lights, pop a bag of microwave popcorn and curl up on the couch.

3. Ask your significant other for help. Kids love their mothers but time spent with dad is important too. Let them bond with dad while you go shopping for a new outfit or root around in the garden. Since the time is yours, do whatever you like.

4. Use the Boy Scout motto. Always be prepared and you can spend more time in a relaxed mode. Fix lunches the night before. Iron clothes for the next day and place backpacks by the front door so kids can grab them on their way out. The fewer things you have to do throughout the day, the calmer you will be with your family and not experience burnout.

5. Take exercise breaks. When you get a few minutes the last thing you want to do is exercise but getting a little physical activity in your day has far-reaching implications. Exercise helps you to think clearly and stretches the muscles. Also, stress will drain away as powerful endorphins are released into your system. Do jumping jacks during a television commercial or jog to the bus stop to pick up the kids.

6. Laugh at regular intervals. Keep a funny calendar cube on your desk or subscribe to a daily joke site. Laughing releases stress and can lift your spirits significantly. It also keeps the abs tight.

Moms, take care of you. Your family would miss you if you were not around to love and care for them. You owe it to yourself and you deserve a break from the daily hustle and bustle.

Tired of Feeling You Have to Be “Supermom” To Be A Good Mom? Here’s how to break free of The Supermom Syndrome…without the guilt. Click here to stop the vicious cycle now.

Raising a child doesn’t come with a book of instructions. If it did, the task would be much easier. Facing the teenage years with your son or daughter is not something most parents look forward to. This article will help you take the experience one day at a time and learn how to bridge the communication gap.

As your child goes from toddler to youngster to tween to teenager, something in what you say gets lost in translation. They can give you that blank stare as if the words that are coming out of your mouth sound like the unseen teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons.

It’s not easy to improve the communication bridges with a teen but it’s important to try to get through as these years and the choices they make now will have a vital impact on their future.

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. Watch your body language. How you move says a lot about you. When a person is tired, they tend to slump. When angered, your jaw muscles tighten and your eyes narrow into slits. Believe it or not, teenagers are good at interpreting body language. Yours will betray you when you are talking to them. Keep it open and honest. Avoid sitting with your arms crossed, eyes looking away from them or squirming in your seat.

2. Make eye contact. When you don’t look at the person you are talking to it says that you are either hiding something or you are not at all interested in what they have to say. Your teenager will shut down emotionally when they suspect that you are not “tuned in” to them. Sit comfortably and give your teen undivided attention with consistent eye contact. It lets them know that you care.

3. Keep your emotions in check. Remember back to when you were a teenager. Some of the things you said to your parents were aimed at freaking them out. Teenagers will push your buttons if they can. Don’t go overboard and get upset. Their target is the situations they know make you mad. Instead, take a deep breath and ignore the taunt. Do the opposite of what they expect because really, they want you to see through their ploy and find out the real problem.

4. Ask them about their day. This technique works with spouses also. Even if your teen only grunts or says the obligatory, “It was okay,” ask anyway. Your show of caring will go a long way to convince them that you are interested in the things that they do and how they feel.

5. Be honest with them. If you don’t understand the situation they are talking about then say so. Kids know when you are being insincere. Discuss the situation until you get an idea of where they are coming from. Your teen won’t mind explaining as long as they know you are listening.

6. Allow them their privacy. This one is tricky and since you know your child better than anyone else, you can draw the line. Teens value their time alone. While the policy in your home may be that there are no locks on the doors, always show respect by knocking before entering. If they don’t want to be pressed about a situation in school, wait until they are ready (if it’s not urgent) and then talk about it.

Parenting a teenager takes a tough skin, a willingness to be vulnerable and lots of love. You will make mistakes but whatever you do, don’t ever stop talking.

Yes, it is possible to understand your teen! Click to instantly learn how.

If you’re like most moms, there never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done. Whether you work outside the home or at home, it’s tough to balance all your work and family responsibilities.

If you’re ready to put an end to being frazzled and exhausted – it’s NOT good for you OR your family – I recommend checking out the very helpful “Real Life Guidance to Balancing Work & Family” report.

Put together by Aurelia Williams, Certified Life Coach and mother of 3, it’s a life saver for moms who need a little hand finding that elusive balance in life.

In the report she covers:

- How to analyze your time in order to use it more wisely
- Saying no WITHOUT the guilt
- Negotiating with your boss for the optimal work situation for you and your family
- Working at home – finally draw the line between work and home responsibilities

The report is instantly downloadable (no need to wait when you need help NOW) and a concise 18-pages, you can read through it and start making important changes to your life and relieving all that built up stress.

If you’re feeling like you’re burning the candle at both ends, you really aren’t alone. Learn more and grab your copy at  Balancing Work and Family

I am really enjoying the 1st full week of Spring and I hope you are too. I will be spending the beginning of the week at home with the kids (who are on Spring break) then my husband and I are packing up and headed to New Orleans for a fun extended weekend.

Well, enough about me. I am here with a special offer for you that will remain in place until Monday, March 30, 2009. I understand that you love a good deal and I and value you as a loyal subscriber so; I am offering you a 30% discount on the Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen guide!

http://www.reallifeguidance.com/understand-teen-special.html

This special discounted price is only good for one week. Don’t forget that your purchase is protected by a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Here’s all you need to do to get your discounted rate.

Simply visit the special discount page that I set up for you here http://www.reallifeguidance.com/understand-teen-special.html and place your order. That’s all there is to it.

Immediately after your purchase you will receive the link to download the 21 page guide that will show you how to connect with and understand your teen and you will also receive all 3 of the bonuses that come with the guide.

Go ahead to http://www.reallifeguidance.com/understand-teen-special.html and scoop it up!

P.S. This offer is as risk-free as an offer can come. You’re completely covered by my 30 day money back guarantee, if you’re not satisfied just email me and you’ll get your money back.

P.S.S This special offer can’t be combined with the buy one get one free report special offer that is listed at http://www.reallifeguidance.com

Some children are naturally more competitive than others – until it comes to siblings.  It seems that in every family where there is more than one child there is some form of sibling rivalry.  The competitive spirit can be good at times but at other times it can get out of control.  It is important to take measures to help keep sibling rivalry at a healthy minimum.  Here are some useful tips to stop the rivalry getting out of control.

1.  Set aside time to spend with each sibling on a one-to-one basis.  Make the special time about that one child.  Let him choose the place that you go or the thing that you do.  Make the one-on-one time something that does require talking (no movies for this).  The idea is to create a bond with the child while giving him the chance to feel like the center of your world.

2.  Remind each child that he or she is an individual and gifts and talents are unique to each of us.  Focus on her talents and gifts and encourage her to follow those instead of the footsteps of older siblings (or even parents).

3.  Spend non-competitive time as a family.  Playing games and sports together is great, but there should be some relaxed time as well.  Go hang out at the zoo or tour the botanical gardens.  Just have some fun that doesn’t require competition (but watch them; siblings have a way of creating competition when you aren’t looking).

4.  Avoid using statements that compare one sibling to another.  Instead of making a comment like “when your brother was your age” or “if you would just work like your sister does”, you should focus on the positives of the sibling you are talking with.  “You are doing so much better this year with your school work.”  “You are working so much harder to get your chores done and I can tell a big difference.”  Just keep siblings out of the comments altogether.

5.  Take the time to support each child in activities and events on an equal basis.  If one is more involved than another, then find other ways to support the one who has the least activities.
 
6.  Keep an open dialogue with all siblings.  You can better judge the temperature of the water and get a handle on any problems before they can get out of hand.

7.  Set the rules BEFORE the children come along.  Determine at what age children will be eligible for allowance, sleepovers, and other important events.  Set a spending limit for birthdays and holidays (and raise it and allowances by set increments).  Having rules in place that are followed for each child will help to reduce the whine of “well HE got to do it before now” or “SHE got more than I did.”

Sibling rivalry seems to be a natural element in any home with more than one child.  Although it may not be possible to eliminate the competitive spirit between siblings, it may be possible to reduce the sibling rivalry (particularly when it comes to the relationship with parents).

Springtime is a great time to spend the weekends doing things together as a family. Not only does the warmer weather encourage everyone to get outside, it will also help everyone feel more like exercising after a long winter cooped up inside. Use some of these ideas of springtime activities for the whole family to enjoy.

New life abounds outside. There are trees budding and flowers blooming everywhere you look. This is the perfect time to start planning a garden to supply your family with fresh vegetables during the summer and fall months.

Begin by starting seeds of any vegetables you want inside and then transplant them into your prepared garden when the threat of frost has passed. Mark off the garden to indicate where you want each type of plant to be planted. Or you can choose to plant your garden using the square foot plan, where you create a grid and plant in those squares. Whichever plan you choose for your garden, now is the time to think about and plan for it.

Take the time to enjoy the outside and have fun at the same time. Let your inner child out as you and your children blow bubbles with home-made bubble solution. Here’s how you make it:  Put ¼ cup of corn syrup in a bowl. Add 4 cups of water followed by 1 cup of liquid dish soap. Stir well. You can use a wire coat hanger, pipe cleaners, or jewelry wire to make a bubble wand. Now take time to enjoy making bubbles with your children.

If each member of your family has a bicycle, why not take them out, clean them up, and then go for a bike ride? This family activity is great exercise and will help you get the kinks out of your body after being indoors. You may want to have one adult up front and one following behind the group for safety.

Go for a hike and look for signs of spring. You will probably find crocus, daffodils, and violets along with other native flowers. Don’t be surprised if you also find ladybugs, bees, and wasps. You might even find some small frogs or toads along the way if you’re near water.

Springtime is also a great time to go to the nearest zoo. Many animals have their young during the spring, so you may see some babies while you’re there. Take the time to see if the zoo has a website so you know what the layout of the zoo is, where your family’s favorite animals are housed, and where the restrooms and food pavilions are.

Finally, you can always go fly a kite. Springtime winds are usually perfect for kite flying. You can purchase kites for less than $10, often much less than that. Find an open field, a breezy day, and then let the kites fly. Don’t be surprised if younger children are mesmerized by the kites as they soar through the air.

Be honest, the warmer weather of springtime is beckoning you to go outside and have some fun! Use any of these springtime activities for the whole family, or come up with some ideas of your own. After being indoors all winter long, your whole family will enjoy spending some quality time together outdoors.
 

Here are some tips on how to deal with a difficult teacher:

* Set aside some time to sit down and talk. You can discuss your child, but it may be best to try to resolve your own differences first.

* Do not be confrontational when you go to see your child’s teacher. Remember that they’re not the enemy; they are a vital component to your child’s educational success.

* Try to remember that communication is important. You can set aside your differences or difficulties for the benefit of the child in question.

* Use reflective listening. Allow them to say what they need to and then rephrase it back to them. Ask them if you understood correctly. Be sure to thank them for their input into your child’s life and for being willing to talk with you and solve the problems you may have.

* Offer to help in some way. It may be that your difficulty with your child’s teacher was just due to getting off on the wrong foot. Ask them if there’s anything you can do to help them – volunteer to make copies one afternoon a month or offer to call other parents if there is something important that needs to be passed along – this may go a long way to repairing your relationship.

Try to be patient with your child’s teacher. If there is direct animosity toward you or your child, there is a chain of command at the school. Go to the principal of the school to make a complaint but remember that you’re not to attack the teacher, just their actions. If nothing else seems to work, your child should only have that teacher for one year. They, and you, can make the best of a bad situation and look forward to having a new teacher the following year.

Sibling rivalry is common among children. Many times when introducing a new baby into a family, the existing child will display feelings of jealousy. Even established families, with two or more children, frequently deal with rivalry between siblings.

As a parent dealing with this rivalry, you should not expect your children to overcome sibling rivalry and jealousy overnight. This is something that usually needs to be addressed on an ongoing basis, especially as your children grow older.

One way to help your children overcome their feelings of jealousy is to spend special time with each child individually. By sharing in quality time with each child on a one-on-one basis, you let them know that they are not in competition with each other.

When you a forced to referee, allow each child a turn to speak. Listen to their opinions and give each child time to speak. Many times sibling rivalries can be easily resolved by just offering an ear. Frustrated children may not always know how to express their frustrations without becoming irritated. Teach them to use their words to express their feelings to you and each other.

Above all, never take sides. The last thing you want to do is give one the idea that you are more partial to him than another. This will only lead to even more sibling jealousy and just escalate the situation even more.

Lastly, help your children by offering them a simple solution. Even better, offer them questions to make them think about the conflict and come up with their own solution. Don’t just focus on breaking apart a war of the words between your children. Make sure their conflict ends in a resolution with a plan to follow for the future.

Visit http://www.reallifesolutions.net/family/parenting.html for more tips on parenting.

As a parent, you are familiar with the concept of “family time,” but have you ever sat down and thought about why it is important and the benefits it brings to both you and your children’s lives?

Many of today’s families are very busy. Most households need two incomes to survive. Some parents even hold down two or more jobs in order to make ends meet. Many parents feel out of balance when it comes to their working and family time.

These feelings can lead to stress and anxiety. As you know, stress and anxiety lead to other health problems, such as head aches, irritability, depression, high blood pressure, and other ailments.

The time your children spend with you gives them many benefits. Spending time as a family provides your children with feelings of love, support, security and safety.

The various activities you engage in during family time provide your children with opportunities to learn new behaviors and skills. For example, teach younger children the alphabet by making a game out of it. If your elementary age child is learning about pollination, go for a walk and point out the many types of flowers you find.

Spending time with your middle school and high school aged children allows you to stay connected with them and to help them ward off peer pressure. When your child feels a connection to you and the morals you have taught them, they won’t have a high need for acceptance from peers. Your teen will be able to take pride in themselves and stand up for their own convictions.

Spending time together as a family can also be beneficial to your marriage. It’s no secret that the nation’s divorce rate is quite high. Family time isn’t just about a parent spending time with their children; it’s also about spouses spending time together. When both partners are actively making time for one another, the marriage will be stronger and less likely to fold.

While the importance of family time is clear; it isn’t always easy to find the time needed to enjoy family time. There are resources to help you, such as the report “Real Life Guidance: <a target=”_blank” href=”http://reallifeguidance.com/family-time.html”><strong>Finding More Family Time</strong></a>.” This report goes over many ways to help you find more family time and it also provides some fun (and inexpensive) ideas for how to spend your time together