Real Life Solutions

Five ways to boost your parenting confidence before the baby arrives

(ARA) - Becoming a new parent can be a scary process. There is so much to learn and no easy way to practice until your new bundle of joy arrives. Luckily, there are easy ways that you can prepare yourself - and your home - to give you peace of mind and be able to enjoy the time with your new baby.

Become well read
Whether you choose lighthearted, comical selections, such as Jenny McCarthy’s “Belly Laughs,” or more informative choices, such as “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” there is a wealth of books to get you educated, ready and even entertained. So, kick up your (swollen) feet and start reading.

Seek out similar situations
Whether you are having your first child, or wondering what life will be like having your second, third or more, seek out other parents who share a similar lifestyle. Talking with others to get their opinions on how to cope with siblings, working and other common life situations will help give you insight and better prepare you for life’s new addition.

Create a “home safe home”
All parents want to keep their kids safe from any potential dangers, so updating your home with a variety of home safety products - for both your new arrival and yourself - is a good idea. While the standard items such as socket plugs and baby gates are must-haves, many parents don’t think of bath safety. And, according to the Home Safety Council, falls are the leading cause (66 percent) of all nonfatal home injuries - with the bathroom being a main culprit due to water and slick surfaces.

Getting into and out of the tub and shower can be difficult for little ones. And, as your “baby bump” continues to grow, the shift in your center of gravity can make you more susceptible to slips and falls. Permanent grab bars, such as SecureMount Grab Bars from Home Care by Moen, are an ideal solution, offering an easy, secure install in a variety of styles and finishes to beautifully coordinate with the rest of the bathroom. Or, for an even easier (and more temporary) installation, try Home Care’s Premium SecureLock Tub Grip, which easily locks tightly to most tubs for an extra hand getting in and out. And, once you are in safely, consider adding a tub and shower seat to ensure that your bath time is accident free.

Stock up on essentials
Believe it or not, you’ll probably go through more than 70 diapers and 200 wipes per week. And, once your bundle of joy arrives, you’ll want to focus your attention on her (or sleep) - not on shopping - so stock up now. In addition to diapering essentials, be sure to supply your medicine cabinet with infant acetaminophen, gas drops, diaper rash cream and a thermometer. And, it’s not a bad idea to fill your freezer full of pre-made dinners so you don’t have to worry about cooking in those first few hectic weeks when you’re still recuperating.

Take a class
Ask your doctor about classes or support groups in your area. Most hospitals offer a variety of classes to help you with everything from childbirth and infant care to even more specific topics, like introducing the baby to siblings or pets. These classes will not only provide you with a wealth of information - but can be a great way to meet others going through the same life experiences.

With a bit of preparation, you’ll soon be breathing easier and feel much more prepared when your bundle of joy arrives. For more information on shower safety products from Home Care by Moen, visit www.moen.com/homecare.

For most parents, toddler behavior is a major issue at some point. The “Terrible Twos” can often be just the beginning. In this article I’d like to explain to you what I believe is the root cause of most behavior problems and how you can avoid such problems in your household.

Between about 18 month and 24 months, most children start to speak many words, but they understand much more than they can speak. They know what they want, but they can’t express themselves with words very well. When parents don’t respond as per the toddler’s unspoken wishes, the result can be a temper tantrum. It’s a totally normal result, we all go through it, but it is something that you can learn to deal with to dramatically reduce these problems in your home.

The most important aspect of dealing with the terrible twos is communication. Specifically, make sure that you are listening to your child. If you don’t understand what he or she wants, simply pick up your child and say “show me”. About half the time a tantrum is the result of your child wanting something and not getting it. You might just not understand what your child wants and never thought to ask. Saying “show me” is an easy way to ask. The other half of the time you ill have to deny your child something.

Perhaps little Sammy wants to play with your fine China. Naturally, you wont’ let him. But instead of saying “no”, I want to really encourage you to simply apply some distraction techniques. When kids are 2 years old, they do not have strong attention spans. So if your child wants something and you are about to say “no”, stop yourself. Think about this instead: Is your toddler old enough to actually understand the logic behind your answer? Of course not! So use distraction instead of logic. Logic and 2-year-olds do not mix. Stop wasting your time.

In summary, most toddler behavior issues can be solved by two things. First, better listening by the parent. If you listen instead of talk, you’ll get more information and be better equipped to solve your toddler’s problem. Second, understand that logic is not your friend when it comes to the terrible twos. Logic isn’t going to really be useful to you until your child is about 4 years old, in my experience. Instead of saying “no” to your children and attempting to explain why, just ignore the request completely and apply a much more appealing distraction.

Here is one distraction that I like to use: If my daughter is trying to get her hands on something that I’d rather she left alone, I will often be successful by picking her up and applying several distractions to overwhelm her and cause her to forget what she was doing. First, I’ll speak to her in a playful voice. Then, I’ll tickle her. Third, I’ll pick her up and carry her over to a window and mention something about the outside such as “Hey, do you see that furry squirrel on that tree”? Then, I just plop her down in front of some other toys that she is allowed to play with.

When your children get to be a bit older, this simple distraction method may not work as well. Luckily there are all kinds of language tricks that you can use to influence your kids to do what you want them to do.

To learn more about the language skills that will help you learn how to deal with toddlers check out the audio course “Talking to Toddlers” at  and make sure to sign up for the free audio lesson. Learn these tools. Reduce your parenting stress.

(ARA) - Whether it be to the grocery store, the doctor’s office or a play date at the park, moms today are constantly on the go. Juggling the ever-changing needs of a child while out and about can be challenging, stressful and sometimes expensive.

Child and parenting expert, TODAY Show contributor and the author of “The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries,” Dr. Michele Borba understands the challenges busy modern moms face.

“Moms today have it tough,” says Borba. “Long lines, endless errands, sitting at a doctor’s office or waiting for a sibling’s practice to end are difficult on both kids and moms. Your best defense to turn off tantrums or prevent messy situations is to think ahead and always be prepared.”

Borba offers four quick and easy “sanity savers” to help keep both mom and child happy while out and about.

Car games
While in the car, kids should occupy themselves with things that don’t make a mess or spill. Hanging a shoe organizer on the back of a seat creates a great place to keep all their favorite games and toys organized and within reach.

“One of my favorite things to recommend for moms is to keep cookie sheets in the car stored under a seat,” says Borba. “Cookie sheets instantly turn into eating trays or lap desks with endless opportunities for small children to play with magnets or reusable stickers and older ones to color or do homework on after school.”

Smart snacking
Hungry kids are not happy kids, so it’s important to bring munchies to keep their spirits up. For healthy snacks that will stay fresh for hours, Borba recommends using insulated food and beverage containers, like the Thermos Foogo vacuum-insulated stainless steel containers, and encourages parents to plan ahead for cleanup as well.

“Carrying a pack of wet wipes in your purse or diaper bag is a must,” says Borba. “To save money, you can wet paper towels, add a small amount of bleach and keep them in a plastic baggy.”

The two-for-one
To lighten your load and get the most use out of any item, try to find a second purpose for it. Your hair clips tied to a napkin can create a restaurant bib for baby in a pinch, and your soft cooler can become a storage compartment for kids’ toys and belongings.

“Moms don’t have to carry the entire nursery with them every time they leave the house,” says Borba. “Think about practicality and range of use for any item you take with you on the go.”

Hydration salvation
Keeping a sippy cup or beverage bottle filled with water, milk or juice is a must while on the go, but can easily fill up an already-bursting bag. Look for options that are convenient and multi-purpose.

New BPA-free Thermos Foogo Phases drinkware, which features both vacuum-insulated stainless steel and Tritan plastic cups, offers three flexible drinking options that can be customized based on your child’s needs. With a soft sippy lid for new drinkers, a hard sippy top for teething little ones, and a fun pop-up straw top, the line makes it easy for mom to quickly swap the interchangeable lids at a moment’s notice.

“This drinkware is a great solution for moms because it literally grows with your child,” says Borba. “The interchangeable lids make the products a great value since you can just upgrade the lid options as your child develops – no need to buy a whole new cup.”

By taking these easy tips into consideration, busy moms can be stress-free, economical and prepared for any situation. For more information, please visit www.Thermos.com.

Stop by Real Life Guidance for instant downloadable help.

One precious commodity that everyone has a problem using wisely is time. One thing is for sure - we all have the same 24 hours in a day - no more, no less. However, there are things you can do to make the most of your day so that you can accomplish a lot yet still manage to have some free time to do things that you enjoy.

Make a plan and write it down. Make it a habit to write a daily list of things to do and things you need. Life gets so busy sometimes especially if you have kids. It is going to be helpful to have those lists handy. You can easily save an extra trip to the store if you have a list of things to buy. You can also figure out how you can run all your errands so that you do not have to drive back and forth. Try to shop in the evenings when stores are less busy. There is no need to waste an hour standing in line when you can do something more productive with that time. Don’t care to stand in line? Try shopping online.

Plan your meals. You can use a blank monthly or weekly calendar to list down your meals for the upcoming week. Once you have the meals figured out, it will be easier to come up with a shopping list based on the meals. Keep your planned meals posted on the refrigerator door so you know what needs to be prepared. Even if it is tempting to sway off the planned meals, do your best to stick to it - you can save lots of money this way and keep with in your budget.

Shop in bulk. If space for groceries is not an issue, plan to shop in bulk. This will allow you to save time because you do not have to keep on going to the grocery store. You also save money because buying in bulk costs less in the long run.

Figure out your best bill payment option. If you have the means, set up bill payment electronically. Writing checks may seem like a simple thing but you can save time writing checks for bills when you pay electronically. If you can’t pay bills electronically, set up a workstation complete with all the supplies you need when paying bills like: your checkbook, envelopes, stamps, pens, and a calendar. If your workstation is stocked and organized, then you won’t waste time searching for supplies you need.

Do a little housework when you can and don’t let work pile up. If you do a bit of housework each day, then you do not have to spend an entire weekend cleaning or catching up on housework. Laundry is one thing that easily piles up. Do a load or two each day and when you can, put the clean clothes away as soon as possible. Picking up around the house and making sure things have their own place will lessen the stress when it’s time to clean up. Do these and you are able to enjoy more family time.

Stay organized. Spend some time organizing your house. This will take time but will be well worth it. Give everything it’s own place and make sure that it makes sense. For example, have hooks near your front door for keys, umbrellas and hats. This way you can hang them as soon as you come in. Hold a family meeting to let everyone know where things belong.

Applying the tips mentioned above will definitely help moms save time and enjoy their family a little bit more.

Being a mom is extremely rewarding, but it’s challenging. Get the help you need at Real Life Guidance. It’s your place for instant downloadable help for moms, day or night.

School is back in session, which means your child is back in the homework grind. Homework is an essential part to broadening your child’s educational experience to prepare them for their life, but what good does it do when most children aren’t motivated to get it done.

Their lack of motivation can cause problems for them in school and beyond. While your child may still see homework as an unpleasant chore, there are some things you can do to help make this experience a more acceptable one for them. Here’s some ways you can help them make the most of their homework time:

Give them space- Dedicate an area in your home for homework purposes. It should be a spot that is as quiet as possible without the distractions of television, radio, etc. Your child needs to be able to focus on the task at hand, so eliminating as many distractions as possible will be necessary.

Support “their time”- If you have other children or adults in the home while homework time is going on, make sure that everyone else knows and understands that the child needs quiet and should have no interruptions. Keep others away from the space you’ve provided for their homework purposes. Your child needs to know that you will support their need to focus on their work.

Remain nearby- Even though they need quiet time with no distractions, you will still need to be nearby in case they run into some problems and need some help. Don’t let them wander through the house looking for you when they want help as there can be too many distractions along the way. Let them know periodically that you, or someone else, is nearby if they have any questions.

Stick to a schedule- Homework time should be at the same time every day that they have it. Of course, life happens and this doesn’t always work out the way you want it to, but try to keep homework time at about the same time each day. Eventually, it will become routine to them and you won’t have to constantly remind them to do it.

Stock up on supplies- If possible; keep extra supplies like pens, pencils, notebooks etc. within their homework space. This will help eliminate some of the many excuses you will receive, in the beginning, about why they can’t complete their homework.

Know what their homework is- This will be a hard one for some parents as some children won’t be as willing to offer up that information to them. Try as much as you can to find out what it is and ask to see their work when their done, to ensure each assignment is completed.

Make your homework assistance a positive one- This is important. Each time they ask you or someone else for help, it needs to always be a positive experience. Never let the child feel as if they’re dumb because they came up with the wrong answer. Use encouraging words and phrases, such as, “You almost have it”, or “That was so close!” Negative responses will probably turn them off from asking anyone for help in the future; including from a teacher, so don’t let that happen.

Homework is always seen as drudgery to most children. If you keep these tips in mind and use as many as possible for your child, homework could become a more do-able thing for them to include within their day.

Being a mom is extremely rewarding, but it’s challenging. Get the help you need at Real Life Guidance. It’s your place for instant downloadable help for moms, day or night.

How can you teach your child to manage both positive and negative moods in an emotionally intelligent manner? Here are some ideas for ways to get your kids to express what they are feeling in a healthy way:

1. Talk it out — The first thing that every parent should try is talking to their children about what they are feeling, especially when they are dealing with negative feelings. Try to figure out the origin of the emotion. It helps to encourage them to use the word “I” when they explain their feelings. For example, “I feel sad when” or “I feel excited because.”

2. Utilize visuals — If verbalizing emotions isn’t an easy thing for your child to do, start by sitting down and coloring pictures together. Some children will open up instantly when they have a creative outlet for expression. Ask your child to explain their drawing. Don’t let them do all the work, parents should draw and explain the feelings involved in their picture as well. This exercise just might be the perfect ice-breaker.

3. Choose emotionally intelligent toys –  With a little research, parents can find toys for their kids that help them learn and express their emotions. One great example is the Super Special Friend Kai-lan doll. Based on the character Kai-lan from Nickelodeon’s hit animated preschool series, Ni Hao, Kai-lan, this interactive doll invites the child to hold Kai-lan’s hand as her heart will light up in one of six different colors, each corresponding to a different emotion. The doll also moves her head, eyes and arms in response to how she’s feeling, and asks girls and boys to interact with her. When she’s sad, she asks for a hug; when she’s happy she sings the “Friends Make Me Super Happy” song from the show; and when she’s feeling giggly, she makes a silly face. This toy is an easy way to help your child learn about their emotions and how to express them.

4. Lead by example –   Your child is in constant observation of your behavior. So when you’re feeling happy or sad, talk about it with your child. After a tough day at work, have a short conversation over dinner about how you are tired because work today was hard and how you hope tomorrow is better. If you’re excited for an upcoming event, let your child know what you think about the event and why you are looking forward to it. Talking about life and demonstrating how to properly handle both positive and negative emotions are good ways to lead by example.

Try one or more of these ideas to help your child learn about emotions and feelings. If one doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to try another one. With time and patience, every child can learn about feelings and how to properly manage their moods.

Courtesy of ARAcontent

You hear the complaints everyday from different people about how busy their lives are with work and after school activities. They never have any family time together because everybody is just so B-U-S-Y.

Rather than falling into the category of the “busy family who does not talk to each other,” simply take 30 minutes a day to reconnect with your family members. Here are some simple ideas you can use to form a family bond (and there are more in my instantly downloadable guide, Finding More Family Time):

1. Turn off the television. Focus your full attention on your spouse or child. Having someone’s undivided attention will boost your self-esteem no matter what your age.

2. Take a walk down memory lane. Laughing at the old-style fashions in the photo albums is a fabulous way to relive funny moments or to honor a beloved relative who has passed away.

3. Worship together. Daily prayer brings joy to the soul, helps us become more compassionate toward others and helps us to understand that life is precious.

4. Prepare meals together. Teach your kids that “the kitchen is the heart of the home.” Let your older children plan the dinner menu once a week and assign each family member a job so everyone has a chance to help.

5. Eat dinner together. Sit together at the table with no other distractions and learn about everyone’s day. Approach these discussions with openness and you will likely learn about the important events in your child’s life.

6. Plan an adventure. Head off for parts unknown with a map, a picnic lunch and a full tank of gas. Laugh when you make a wrong turn and hand off the map to see if another sibling can find their way home.

7. Go on dates. Parents should plan regular “dates” with each child individually. Sharing one-on-one time with each child makes him or her feel like they don’t have to compete with a sibling in order to be heard.

8. Enjoy the great outdoors. Taking the dog for a walk or riding your bikes around the park will give your family extra time to talk as well as keep the family healthy. To keep the activities new and fresh, let each family member choose an activity.

9. Exercise together. Working toward a common health goal as a team is easier than tackling a large goal all by yourself. Many gyms offer family memberships and you can share your experiences and your successes along your way to good health.

10. Plan a family fun night at home. Entertainment and quality family fun does not have to cost anything. Pull out some dusty board games, teach the kids a new card game or have dinner and a movie.

As the old saying goes, take some time to smell the roses and put your family first. No activity should be placed above spending time with the family. What a shame it would be to raise a child to adulthood and yet not truly know that person.

Need More Help?

Find even more family ideas in the Real Life Guidance to Finding More Family Time Guide. This practical guide will show you how to set reasonable expectations for all family members, balance work and life, get organized and more. Click here for more info.

Do You Know Where Your Teen Will Be?

All of the stress associated with the school year has begun to dissipate and now is the time for all good teens to break out and use their free time to engage in summertime fun. Do you know what your teen plans to do? Has your teen obtained a summer job, or will he or she spend the entire time at home unsupervised. Do you know where your teen will be?

These are questions most parents face during the summertime. Perhaps both you and your husband work full time, or work at home. Whatever the case may be, your teen has a great deal of free time, which can either be utilized to increase their emotional and educational growth, or to engage in activities which may be the catalyst for potential trouble.

Let’s face it, for some teens the first day of summer is looked upon as a license to run wild with no cares in the world except their own. While every teen needs a few weeks to unwind, if there has been no advanced planning on what your teen can be doing during summertime, the door is open for them to waste time watching TV or playing video games or hooking up with friends and just hanging out at the beach. This is a great concern for parents who want their teens to increase their physical activity and mental prowess during the summer months in a safe environment.

What can parents do to ensure they are not only aware of where their teen will be, but what they will be doing?
If you are concerned about your teen this summer, it’s time to have a serious conversation wherein you set up a series of rules.

Here are some tips which may help in this regard:

• Establish a curfew for your teen, both day and night.

• If you are a working parent, ask your teen what he or she will be doing during the day. Inform your teen that permission is required before they venture out.

• Remain in constant touch with your teen via a cell phone.

• Invited your teen’s friends over for a Saturday barbeque. This will allow you to get to know who your teen hangs out with.

• Set up a routine of chores your teen can help with at home, and for which he or she can earn extra money.

• Plan family outings to museums or places of interest on the weekends.

• Take your teen to the library and choose a number of books to read over the summer. Since this is a requirement of most public schools, encouraging your teen to expand his or knowledge will help them advance in school as well.

• Limit the amount of TV and computer time. Use parental controls, which are part of all Internet service providers.

• If you are a working parent, plan a week’s vacation for the entire family. You can either choose a destination that has a great deal of history, or a place in which the family can spend quality time together and reestablish the family unit.

Summertime for teens can either be a safe, fun-filled experience, or it can be a time where worry is your constant enemy. Open communication with your teen is not only important, but is paramount in continuing parental control over your teen in every facet of their growth. While your teen may not like it now, they will thank you later.

For more information on planning a great summer for your teen, visit School’s Out! Plan For the Perfect Teen Summer.

Young parents get scared when they hear stories about the “terrible twos.” Take courage, though, you will survive the toddler stage.  It’s not easy to understand why your toddler has a tantrum but at such a young age, a child is consumed with thoughts of themselves.  Everything is about them and how they feel.  Until they are taught how to share, every toy or piece of food they see automatically belongs to them. 

Toddler temper tantrums can have a variety of effects.  Your first thought might be that everyone is focused on you and your screaming child, but getting embarrassed won’t diffuse the situation.  Besides, as a parent, you have many more years of embarrassing situations to look forward to courtesy of your children.  So worrying about what others think during this situation is simply going to stress you and make you feel worse.

Here are a few tips to help you cope during temper tantrums:

1. Ignore the temper tantrum.  This technique works best when at home.  In public places, you don’t want to ever leave your child unattended as a form of punishment.  Good behavior in public begins at home.  Ignoring a toddler is not harsh.  If your child is squirming on the floor screaming for a cookie, continue to talk to them as if you never noticed.  Eventually, they will get the hint and stop screaming. 

2. Avoid instant gratification.  In public, toddlers throw temper tantrums when they are denied something that they want.  Some parents give in to keep their child quiet but a child learns quickly.  Temper tantrums will continue if they know you will cave.  Simply tell them “no” and keep moving.

3. Don’t get angry.  When you scream and they scream the situation is wildly out of control.  You’ll end up crying and your toddler will still be screaming.  In any situation, raised voices mean civilized conversation has ended in favor of basic primal instincts.  Don’t revert back to the days of early man.  Keep using the same calm voice you use when they are behaving to get your child to calm down as well.

4. Praise your toddler when they behave well.  Positive reinforcement is better than negative.  In the absence of positive attention a child will behave badly just to get some attention at all.  Acting out and throwing tantrums may be a cry for attention.  Don’t let it get to this point.  Clap and celebrate when they go to the potty successfully and when they put away their toys.  Good manners such as saying “please” and “thank you” deserve a smile and a hand clap as well.

5. Run errands after nap time.  Kids get punchy when they get tired.  A toddler misbehaves more often if they are dragged around when they are tired. 

6. Carry snacks with you.  Low blood sugar can lead to tantrums.  If you are out longer than anticipated and lunch or dinner time is close at hand, let them eat a healthy snack to keep their hunger pains at bay and sugar levels stable.
 
7. Be consistent in your punishment.  At home, you might use “time out” to deal with a tantrum for bad behavior.  In public do the same.  Sit your child on a bench for five minutes or take them to the car.  Eventually they will learn that you are not a pushover and they will begin to behave.

Visit Dealing with the Terrible Twos and Beyond and learn exactly how to use words to prevent tantrums, and get your kids to do what you want.

It seems like there is no rest of the weary. And, the weary person is usually mom. Moms take care of hearth and home, but who takes care of her? If you are a busy mom, learn to value yourself as a person and schedule personal time.

Personal time is a right of being a person. Each of us has the capacity to nurture others but that type of care takes its toll.

A car is filled with gas to make it run. Eventually the gas runs out and your car won’t move unless the car is replenished with fuel. The same goes for you. Emotional issues can develop when you don’t take the time to take care of your emotional well-being, not to mention the physical results of emotional neglect.

Mom time refuels the tank so that you can give to your family as well as yourself in equal measure. Don’t be ashamed to sit for fifteen minutes doing nothing. In the springtime, relaxing in a hammock under a tree is the perfect getaway from the pressures of the day. Reading a book for 30 minutes can also seem like heaven to many moms.

Here are a few tips to help you fit in much needed “mom” time:

1. Get up early if you have to. When you have kids, the day begins at a hurried pace. Once you hit the ground running, there is no stopping you. Waking 30 minutes to an hour ahead of time means quiet solitude to drink your coffee, read a book, meditate or listen to music.

2. Turn ordinary experiences into major events. When you take a bath, add candles, bubble bath, quiet music and/or an inflatable bath pillow. Your regular bath has now become a spa level experience. If you watch a movie, turn out the lights, pop a bag of microwave popcorn and curl up on the couch.

3. Ask your significant other for help. Kids love their mothers but time spent with dad is important too. Let them bond with dad while you go shopping for a new outfit or root around in the garden. Since the time is yours, do whatever you like.

4. Use the Boy Scout motto. Always be prepared and you can spend more time in a relaxed mode. Fix lunches the night before. Iron clothes for the next day and place backpacks by the front door so kids can grab them on their way out. The fewer things you have to do throughout the day, the calmer you will be with your family and not experience burnout.

5. Take exercise breaks. When you get a few minutes the last thing you want to do is exercise but getting a little physical activity in your day has far-reaching implications. Exercise helps you to think clearly and stretches the muscles. Also, stress will drain away as powerful endorphins are released into your system. Do jumping jacks during a television commercial or jog to the bus stop to pick up the kids.

6. Laugh at regular intervals. Keep a funny calendar cube on your desk or subscribe to a daily joke site. Laughing releases stress and can lift your spirits significantly. It also keeps the abs tight.

Moms, take care of you. Your family would miss you if you were not around to love and care for them. You owe it to yourself and you deserve a break from the daily hustle and bustle.

Tired of Feeling You Have to Be “Supermom” To Be A Good Mom? Here’s how to break free of The Supermom Syndrome…without the guilt. Click here to stop the vicious cycle now.