There comes a point in nearly all marriages where one or both parties feel they need to liven things up. There are a few ways to keep your marriage exciting and that is what this post is all about. While it’s impossible to travel back in time to the heady days when you first met, you can build on the richness and depth you’ve developed over the years to bring about a new kind of excitement.
Here are some ways to keep your marriage exciting
Dare to Be Different
You don’t have to share interests to get along. In fact, successfully married couples point out that having different interests – at least some different interests – has helped them grow closer. If your spouse is into something that you admire but are not particularly good at or interested in, you can still respect him/her and support the interest.
Also, spending some time by yourself or with people besides your spouse can be good for your relationship. Absence may indeed make the heart grow fonder – take a break from each other regularly and pursue those different interests.
Now, Find Something to Do Together
If possible, find something new to do together. This will be more like “neutral territory,” without expectations built on past experience. If you’re both doing something for the first time – taking a dancing class, for instance, or doing an exercise routine together – there is a shared awkwardness that can actually bring you closer. And neither one of you is trying to show or tell the other one what to do.
Speaking of Exercise…
Sources say that it really can breathe new life into a marriage if one or both spouses takes up regular exercise. In fact, enrolling in a gym membership together could be a way to do this as a joint activity. This is another one of the great ways to keep your marriage exciting. Or, just taking up exercise yourself can be helpful. It’s said that your physical relationship is enhanced when you’re in shape, which makes sense – exercise tends to give you more energy and better muscle tone.
Ignore the “What Ifs”
Marriages can be bogged down with “what ifs.” What if I gain weight, have health problems, get wrinkles, burn dinner, etc.? Will he/she leave me? Successfully married couples say that a key to their success is recognizing that marriage is permanent. So letting go of the “what ifs” – whether fear of being abandoned or looking for a “loophole” if you want out – can greatly enliven your marriage.
Remember How You Used to…
Every spouse has his or her way of finishing the above sentence! While it’s true that you can’t expect your relationship to be like it was when you were dating, you can resurrect some behaviors and characteristics that you may have forgotten about, but that really endeared you to your spouse. One of my favorite tips for ways to keep your marriage exciting is to ask eachother that question: “Remember when we used to….”
For example, you might have taken great care to look perfect and have your hair, make-up, and clothes “just so” before going out on a date, but now you don’t take much time on your appearance. Or you might have been in shape and enjoyed being active before you got married, but now you’re a couch potato. Think about those things your spouse really enjoyed about you when you first met, and try getting back into them now and then.
Hopefully you will use one or more of these great ways to keep your marriage exciting!