Real Life Solutions

There’s only so much you can do to find information about your ancestors from using old family records, newspapers, and such. Sometimes you have to search elsewhere, particularly if you’ve run into a road block. Finding information on your family ancestors online is one way to get past those road blocks and get back on track.

Obviously you’ll need to have a starting place when you’re searching for your family online. You may have a list of names, birth and death dates, and places of birth or death. These are a great place to begin, no matter how you go about finding your ancestors.

Obituaries are printed for everyone who passes away. If your loved one passed away after 1962, you can search the Social Security Death Index to determine exact date of death. The index will provide the person’s birth date, death date, and the place they last resided. You may also want to try Genealogy Bank which has obituaries from over 1100 newspapers dating as far back at 1977.

If you already have some information about family members from the past, you may want to search for them on other online websites. Some genealogy websites are free to access and those might be the best place to start looking if you’re new to genealogy. After you’ve learned more about your family you may want to sign up for a subscription on the membership-based genealogy sites.

Free genealogy websites you may want to check out when finding information on your family ancestors include:

* Rootsweb.com
* MyHeritage.com
* FamilySearch.org
* EllisIsland.org
* CyndisList.com
* USGenWeb.com

Each of these websites will provide you with search functions as well as give you information on the best methods to search for your family online. Many genealogy websites also have forums where people can ask for information from people around the world.

The better-known genealogy websites require paid membership. These include Ancestry.com, Genealogy.com, WorldVitalRecords.com, and OneGreatFamily.com. These paid websites can be as little as $3.33 per month or as much as $24.95 per month depending upon if you choose to access to files in the United States or worldwide. Normally you will be billed annually for your membership.

If you’re not sure a paid membership site is right for you, most of them have trial memberships between one and two weeks. That will give you ample time to do some searching, find information that will be helpful in locating your family members, and let you know if there is a need to sign up.

As with any attempt at finding information on your family ancestors online, be sure to spell their name correctly. If you’re having problems finding them, you may want to consider that the surname (last name) may have changed over time. Try variations of spellings to ensure you find the people you’re looking for.

There are lots of great and practical clutter busting tips that will help you keep your mess under control and banish clutter from your life.

First, when you have things sorted properly, labels are a great way to keep things straight. Clutter busting tips often mention labels, because you can liable shelves, drawers, and individual containers, and always know where things belong.

Another great clutter busting tip is to name files efficiently. Go with a system that makes sense to you, and don’t use anyone else’s system. Use words that aren’t too complex for you to remember easier, so that you can easily find your papers later when you need them.

To keep things clutter free, invest at least 10 to 15 minutes every day. If you spend a small amount of time tidying up every evening, you will not have to spend hours on the weekend to tackle large clutter problems. Use a timer, or straighten up for the duration of two or three of your favorite songs to make the straightening more enjoyable.

Other clutter busting tips that can make your life easier are to remember how people really live. Kids, for example, have the tendency to lose lids that are supposed to go with storage containers, so buy container types with attached lids. Another clutter busting idea is to take photos of mementos that you are able to part with. Your old high school cheerleading uniform is not a useful thing to keep hanging in your closet, so a great option may be to take a few photos of the uniform, and place them in an album with space to write about memories associated with the item.

Clutter busting tips are helpful to control your clutter, but one overarching idea is to make decisions about large items first. Do you have an old chair that you inherited, or a piano no one plays? Make decisions about whether or not to keep these items and you will see your clutter problem as much more manageable.

A clutter busting tip for your closet is to be realistic about your clothing. If you have items that no longer fit, don’t hold on to a whole series of jeans and dresses that are one or two sizes too small. Keep one item to motivate you to lose weight, but accept your current size and realize that if you do shed pounds you will want to shop for new, updated clothes.

Additional Resource

The Definitive Guide To Home Organization For Busy People - How To Quickly And Easily Clear Clutter And Organize Your Home…for Good! Learn The Exact Steps And Tricks Used By Professional Organizers To Get Your Home Organized & Clutter Free Today!

For most parents, toddler behavior is a major issue at some point. The “Terrible Twos” can often be just the beginning. In this article I’d like to explain to you what I believe is the root cause of most behavior problems and how you can avoid such problems in your household.

Between about 18 month and 24 months, most children start to speak many words, but they understand much more than they can speak. They know what they want, but they can’t express themselves with words very well. When parents don’t respond as per the toddler’s unspoken wishes, the result can be a temper tantrum. It’s a totally normal result, we all go through it, but it is something that you can learn to deal with to dramatically reduce these problems in your home.

The most important aspect of dealing with the terrible twos is communication. Specifically, make sure that you are listening to your child. If you don’t understand what he or she wants, simply pick up your child and say “show me”. About half the time a tantrum is the result of your child wanting something and not getting it. You might just not understand what your child wants and never thought to ask. Saying “show me” is an easy way to ask. The other half of the time you ill have to deny your child something.

Perhaps little Sammy wants to play with your fine China. Naturally, you wont’ let him. But instead of saying “no”, I want to really encourage you to simply apply some distraction techniques. When kids are 2 years old, they do not have strong attention spans. So if your child wants something and you are about to say “no”, stop yourself. Think about this instead: Is your toddler old enough to actually understand the logic behind your answer? Of course not! So use distraction instead of logic. Logic and 2-year-olds do not mix. Stop wasting your time.

In summary, most toddler behavior issues can be solved by two things. First, better listening by the parent. If you listen instead of talk, you’ll get more information and be better equipped to solve your toddler’s problem. Second, understand that logic is not your friend when it comes to the terrible twos. Logic isn’t going to really be useful to you until your child is about 4 years old, in my experience. Instead of saying “no” to your children and attempting to explain why, just ignore the request completely and apply a much more appealing distraction.

Here is one distraction that I like to use: If my daughter is trying to get her hands on something that I’d rather she left alone, I will often be successful by picking her up and applying several distractions to overwhelm her and cause her to forget what she was doing. First, I’ll speak to her in a playful voice. Then, I’ll tickle her. Third, I’ll pick her up and carry her over to a window and mention something about the outside such as “Hey, do you see that furry squirrel on that tree”? Then, I just plop her down in front of some other toys that she is allowed to play with.

When your children get to be a bit older, this simple distraction method may not work as well. Luckily there are all kinds of language tricks that you can use to influence your kids to do what you want them to do.

To learn more about the language skills that will help you learn how to deal with toddlers check out the audio course “Talking to Toddlers” at  and make sure to sign up for the free audio lesson. Learn these tools. Reduce your parenting stress.

Christmas is right around the corner. Have you thought about holiday gift shopping yet? Whether you have a ton of people or just a few on your list, you’ll want to get that off your plate as soon as possible. This year, try shopping online.

Some are wary of shopping online. It could be because it is new to them or because they aren’t computer savvy. However, with the ease of navigation on many websites, even a child could find what they are looking for.

Shopping online is safe for those who have that issue. The important thing to remember is to be aware of what constitutes safety and not to deviate from it. Here are a few things to look for:

* Find security certificates on the site and be sure they are up-to-date
* Look for a closed lock symbol on checkout pages where you supply financial information
* Enter your personal and financial information each time instead of storing it in the browser
* Delete cookies after you finish your shopping for that day
* Implement the highest security that you have for Internet browsing

When you know what to do to keep from being taken for a ride, the Internet becomes a fun way to shop for items that you want to give at Christmas. Here are a few reasons why it is less stressful to shop in cyberspace than leaving your home.

* No traffic jams
* No long lines outside the store
* Greater product availability
* You can shop anytime you have a few spare minutes
* You can have items delivered anywhere you need to

If you have an Internet connection, you can shop for Christmas presents online. In the stores, they only carry a certain number of items. It is how they drum up demand. Online, your supplier may have a warehouse full of that same item just waiting to ship.

What do you do when you go to the store and they are sold out? Online, product availability can be checked weeks and months before Christmas. You can buy early to avoid the rush. Also, some product colors and styles are only available online so your gift will be more unique.

Have you ever stood in the line at the post office the week before Christmas? It’s worse than the retail stores. Online, you can fill in a billing address and a shipping address. They don’t have to be the same. Send your gifts automatically to family far away without ever darkening the door of the post office.

What are your plans for Christmas shopping this year? See if you can do the majority of your shopping online. Now, you can go to the mall for a stroll and an ice cream instead of scouring the stores for hard-to-find gifts.

(ARA) - Whether it be to the grocery store, the doctor’s office or a play date at the park, moms today are constantly on the go. Juggling the ever-changing needs of a child while out and about can be challenging, stressful and sometimes expensive.

Child and parenting expert, TODAY Show contributor and the author of “The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries,” Dr. Michele Borba understands the challenges busy modern moms face.

“Moms today have it tough,” says Borba. “Long lines, endless errands, sitting at a doctor’s office or waiting for a sibling’s practice to end are difficult on both kids and moms. Your best defense to turn off tantrums or prevent messy situations is to think ahead and always be prepared.”

Borba offers four quick and easy “sanity savers” to help keep both mom and child happy while out and about.

Car games
While in the car, kids should occupy themselves with things that don’t make a mess or spill. Hanging a shoe organizer on the back of a seat creates a great place to keep all their favorite games and toys organized and within reach.

“One of my favorite things to recommend for moms is to keep cookie sheets in the car stored under a seat,” says Borba. “Cookie sheets instantly turn into eating trays or lap desks with endless opportunities for small children to play with magnets or reusable stickers and older ones to color or do homework on after school.”

Smart snacking
Hungry kids are not happy kids, so it’s important to bring munchies to keep their spirits up. For healthy snacks that will stay fresh for hours, Borba recommends using insulated food and beverage containers, like the Thermos Foogo vacuum-insulated stainless steel containers, and encourages parents to plan ahead for cleanup as well.

“Carrying a pack of wet wipes in your purse or diaper bag is a must,” says Borba. “To save money, you can wet paper towels, add a small amount of bleach and keep them in a plastic baggy.”

The two-for-one
To lighten your load and get the most use out of any item, try to find a second purpose for it. Your hair clips tied to a napkin can create a restaurant bib for baby in a pinch, and your soft cooler can become a storage compartment for kids’ toys and belongings.

“Moms don’t have to carry the entire nursery with them every time they leave the house,” says Borba. “Think about practicality and range of use for any item you take with you on the go.”

Hydration salvation
Keeping a sippy cup or beverage bottle filled with water, milk or juice is a must while on the go, but can easily fill up an already-bursting bag. Look for options that are convenient and multi-purpose.

New BPA-free Thermos Foogo Phases drinkware, which features both vacuum-insulated stainless steel and Tritan plastic cups, offers three flexible drinking options that can be customized based on your child’s needs. With a soft sippy lid for new drinkers, a hard sippy top for teething little ones, and a fun pop-up straw top, the line makes it easy for mom to quickly swap the interchangeable lids at a moment’s notice.

“This drinkware is a great solution for moms because it literally grows with your child,” says Borba. “The interchangeable lids make the products a great value since you can just upgrade the lid options as your child develops – no need to buy a whole new cup.”

By taking these easy tips into consideration, busy moms can be stress-free, economical and prepared for any situation. For more information, please visit www.Thermos.com.

Stop by Real Life Guidance for instant downloadable help.

School is back in session, which means your child is back in the homework grind. Homework is an essential part to broadening your child’s educational experience to prepare them for their life, but what good does it do when most children aren’t motivated to get it done.

Their lack of motivation can cause problems for them in school and beyond. While your child may still see homework as an unpleasant chore, there are some things you can do to help make this experience a more acceptable one for them. Here’s some ways you can help them make the most of their homework time:

Give them space- Dedicate an area in your home for homework purposes. It should be a spot that is as quiet as possible without the distractions of television, radio, etc. Your child needs to be able to focus on the task at hand, so eliminating as many distractions as possible will be necessary.

Support “their time”- If you have other children or adults in the home while homework time is going on, make sure that everyone else knows and understands that the child needs quiet and should have no interruptions. Keep others away from the space you’ve provided for their homework purposes. Your child needs to know that you will support their need to focus on their work.

Remain nearby- Even though they need quiet time with no distractions, you will still need to be nearby in case they run into some problems and need some help. Don’t let them wander through the house looking for you when they want help as there can be too many distractions along the way. Let them know periodically that you, or someone else, is nearby if they have any questions.

Stick to a schedule- Homework time should be at the same time every day that they have it. Of course, life happens and this doesn’t always work out the way you want it to, but try to keep homework time at about the same time each day. Eventually, it will become routine to them and you won’t have to constantly remind them to do it.

Stock up on supplies- If possible; keep extra supplies like pens, pencils, notebooks etc. within their homework space. This will help eliminate some of the many excuses you will receive, in the beginning, about why they can’t complete their homework.

Know what their homework is- This will be a hard one for some parents as some children won’t be as willing to offer up that information to them. Try as much as you can to find out what it is and ask to see their work when their done, to ensure each assignment is completed.

Make your homework assistance a positive one- This is important. Each time they ask you or someone else for help, it needs to always be a positive experience. Never let the child feel as if they’re dumb because they came up with the wrong answer. Use encouraging words and phrases, such as, “You almost have it”, or “That was so close!” Negative responses will probably turn them off from asking anyone for help in the future; including from a teacher, so don’t let that happen.

Homework is always seen as drudgery to most children. If you keep these tips in mind and use as many as possible for your child, homework could become a more do-able thing for them to include within their day.

Being a mom is extremely rewarding, but it’s challenging. Get the help you need at Real Life Guidance. It’s your place for instant downloadable help for moms, day or night.

Kids always have fun making crafts, especially holiday-themed crafts. Here are some fun Halloween craft ideas for your kids to make this year.

1. Trick-or-Treat bucket

Supplies: ice cream bucket, construction paper, markers, crayons, glue, glitter (any craft supplies)
Directions: Use construction paper to draw ghosts, pumpkins, scarecrows, etc. Cut out your decorations and glue them to the outside of an ice cream bucket.

2. Trick-or-Treat goody bags

Supplies: small brown paper bags, Halloween stickers, markers, treats (candy, pencils, erasers, bubblegum, etc.)

Directions: Decorate paper bags in Halloween themes using your art supplies. Put treats inside bags. Fold the top of the bag down and tape shut with a Halloween sticker.

3. Tiny pumpkins

Supplies: acorns, orange paint, and green paint

Directions: Lay acorns on a sheet of newspaper. Paint the bottom of the acorns with orange paint. After the orange paint dries, paint the top of the acorns green (for the stem of the pumpkin). Allow to dry thoroughly.

4. Spooky Spiders

Supplies: black construction paper, cotton balls or cotton stuffing, black pipe cleaners, small bowl or saucer, and a stapler

Directions: Using black construction paper, trace around a small bowl or saucer. (Cut out two circles per spider.) Place stuffing or cotton balls on first circle. Lay second circle on top of cotton stuffing and staple half-way around. Insert 3-4” pipe cleaners on each side, then staple the second half of the circles together. Bend pipe cleaners to make the “legs” of the spider.

Would you like to quickly make creative Kids Halloween Costumes that you and your children will be proud of — for a fraction of the price of store-bought? Susanne Myers has co-authored a book to show you how — no sewing involved. Visit www.ILoveHalloweenCostumes.com to learn more.

Fall is a great time to enjoy activities that you may not have had the opportunity to enjoy during the summer because of the oppressive heat.  Now would be a great time to plan a trip to enjoy the great outdoors.  Camping, hiking, backpacking, and geocaching are just a few of the activities that would be more enjoyable during the crispness of autumn.

While it’s true that you can go camping during the summer, unless you are able to travel to the mountains where it’s always cooler, it may have been too hot to enjoy the trip.  One of the benefits to camping in the fall over the summer is that bugs are less likely to be a problem.  You’re also less likely to come across snakes as they will be searching for dens in which to hibernate this winter.

Autumn camping gives you the best of both worlds – warm days to enjoy hiking and traipsing around nature, but cool enough to truly enjoy cuddling up around a campfire.  What is better than a crisp autumn evening, making S’mores around the campfire, and enjoying the aroma and sounds of the crackling fire?  When the leaves start to change colors and the air turns cool, this is the perfect time to pitch a tent and enjoy a weekend of camping.

You can enjoy a hike in the woods during the summer months, but you won’t get quite so hot during the fall.  In fact, one of the biggest reasons to wait until fall to go hiking is that you won’t have to fight with tons of other people as you travel along the trails.  Not having to deal with as many people is a great reason to wait until later in the year to hit the trails.  It would also be a perfect time to take someone on their first hike.  They won’t have to worry about carrying quite as much in their backpack and the scenery will be a joy to behold.

Backpacking, which is really a combination of hiking and camping, is another activity that can be enjoyed during the fall.  It’s a great way for you to take a day or two to get away from the daily grind, reconnect with nature, and refresh your spirit.  Be sure to take along plenty of water, even though the weather won’t be as hot, you’ll still need to keep yourself well hydrated.

A recent activity that people are enjoying is geocaching.  The best of hiking and backpacking, geocaching is a trip with a purpose – locating the cache that was hidden by another participant.  This activity, however, requires that you have a GPS unit to find the cache, but requires you to be prepared to climb, hike, and hit the trails. You are allowed to remove items from the cache you find, but you are also required to leave something for the next person to find.

All of these activities can be enjoyed during the spring and summer months, but they can be just as enjoyable, if not more so, during the fall months.  The weather is not going to be as hot, there will be less people to contend with, and the scenery will be beautiful.

How can you teach your child to manage both positive and negative moods in an emotionally intelligent manner? Here are some ideas for ways to get your kids to express what they are feeling in a healthy way:

1. Talk it out — The first thing that every parent should try is talking to their children about what they are feeling, especially when they are dealing with negative feelings. Try to figure out the origin of the emotion. It helps to encourage them to use the word “I” when they explain their feelings. For example, “I feel sad when” or “I feel excited because.”

2. Utilize visuals — If verbalizing emotions isn’t an easy thing for your child to do, start by sitting down and coloring pictures together. Some children will open up instantly when they have a creative outlet for expression. Ask your child to explain their drawing. Don’t let them do all the work, parents should draw and explain the feelings involved in their picture as well. This exercise just might be the perfect ice-breaker.

3. Choose emotionally intelligent toys –  With a little research, parents can find toys for their kids that help them learn and express their emotions. One great example is the Super Special Friend Kai-lan doll. Based on the character Kai-lan from Nickelodeon’s hit animated preschool series, Ni Hao, Kai-lan, this interactive doll invites the child to hold Kai-lan’s hand as her heart will light up in one of six different colors, each corresponding to a different emotion. The doll also moves her head, eyes and arms in response to how she’s feeling, and asks girls and boys to interact with her. When she’s sad, she asks for a hug; when she’s happy she sings the “Friends Make Me Super Happy” song from the show; and when she’s feeling giggly, she makes a silly face. This toy is an easy way to help your child learn about their emotions and how to express them.

4. Lead by example –   Your child is in constant observation of your behavior. So when you’re feeling happy or sad, talk about it with your child. After a tough day at work, have a short conversation over dinner about how you are tired because work today was hard and how you hope tomorrow is better. If you’re excited for an upcoming event, let your child know what you think about the event and why you are looking forward to it. Talking about life and demonstrating how to properly handle both positive and negative emotions are good ways to lead by example.

Try one or more of these ideas to help your child learn about emotions and feelings. If one doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to try another one. With time and patience, every child can learn about feelings and how to properly manage their moods.

Courtesy of ARAcontent

It probably started in preschool when your son was playing with the truck and a big mean four and a half year old just came over and stole that dump truck right out of your sweet innocent little man’s precious little hands.  How dare he?!

The fact is, kids can be mean. Shoot, adults can be mean too.  Why do you think someone created the bumper sticker, “Mean people suck”?  You can’t be with your child 24/7 to protect him from the school bully.  You can’t control what other children do; but you can control how your child reacts. Or at least hopefully you can bully proof your student.

For starters you want to ensure your precious baby isn’t on the giving end of the bullying.  Not only is it rude and wrong, it could land your assertive child a suspension. (Assertive sounds so much better than aggressive, don’t you agree?)

You would do well to explain the psychology of a school bully before your child is faced with a situation where he (or she) is the one being bullied.   The “do unto others rule’ is a good place to start.  You can also explain that often children act like a bully to mask other feelings (anger, disappointment etc.)  If your student isn’t doing anything intentional to egg on the rough and tough, the odds are in his favor he may not be a target.

Only you know whether or not your child is mature enough to understand what makes a bully act in a certain manner.  If you still have “a situation” even after you’ve thoroughly and repeatedly discussed how to play nice and how to avoid instigating any negative playground behavior, it’s time for Plan B.

Make sure that your child’s teacher is aware of the situation.  That’s not considered tattling; it’s your responsibility.  Often school can and should put an end to it once they become aware.  Ok, so you tried all that and it still didn’t stop?  Assuming you already had the discussions about defending, not offending; using words not violence, then as a last resort your child should feel free to defend himself.  While most parents teach their child that fighting is bad, getting the snot kicked out of you is bad too.

If you personally don’t have the knowledge to equip your child, then enroll him in a martial arts class.  There is absolutely no correlation between children becoming violent after attending a few self defense lessons.  Don’t you want to bully proof your student?

With all that said, remind your child that the easiest way to remedy the situation may be to befriend the bully.

Honest Parenting: Honest Parenting is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.