Real Life Solutions

Whether we are working outside of the home or inside the home, it is becoming increasingly more difficult in the age of “instant communication” to take some TIME OUT for family. We have the cell phone, Blackberry, Instant Messaging, and the list goes on of ways that we can be contacted instantaneously. And in each of those moments our attention is diverted from whatever we were doing to give our attention to the “new” pressing issue.

Let’s face it; most of us take Family Time for granted. If you are working outside of the home, it is easy to let those precious few evening hours be taken up with phone calls, returning email, putting “final touches” on work related items, etc. If you are working in the home the distractions are similar; phone calls, volunteerism, housework, etc. The point is that working parents (both inside & outside the home) are letting outside influences take precedence over Family Time. Would we let having to stay an additional hour at work in order to send the CEO the sales figures for the 1st quarter have priority over our child’s ballet recital? Would we allow getting the last load of clothes laundered take precedence over singing “The Wheels on the Bus” (for the 100th time) with your toddler? Each of these things is important and depending upon our value system at the time any of these activities may or may not make it to your priority list. If you “schedule” the time, you may be able to get more “Family Time” than you thought.
Here are a few tips to finding more Family Time:

SCHEDULE IT! – Almost everyone has some system of remembering all the things that need to be done at work/home. Whether it is a Day-Timer, a Blackberry, a refrigerator calendar you have a way to keep track of the myriad of activities in your family. Family Time is a priority that you want to find time for so schedule it. In our home, Friday night from 6:30pm until the kids’ bedtime is Family Time. We all have to do an activity together. Each child gets a chance to choose what he/she would like to do for our Family Night and EVERYONE has to do it. This is a great way to get everyone together and you can find times in the midst of your time together to get to know what is happening in your child’s world in a relaxed setting. Some of the favorite activities at our house; the arcade, bowling, Scrabble tournaments, Uno, music concerts, and movies.

COMMIT TO IT! – It is easy to let phone calls, email, net surfing, etc. to take your attention away. Don’t let it! Turn the cell phone off, turn the computer off, turn the Blackberry off and truly give all of your attention to your family for your designated Family Time. Don’t let anything intrude on your time and your kids will see how much Family Time matters to you, how much they matter to you.

ENJOY IT! – If you are not accustomed to scheduling a block of Family Time, the prospect of spending a block of unstructured time could seem a little daunting. In order to ease into a comfortable time with your family, you might first want to schedule “activities” that take you out of the house. With activities, there is an opportunity to bond during the activity, but if there is a lull in communication it will be OK because you can focus on the activity.

Aurelia Williams is a certified life coach and author of Real Life Guidance: Finding More Family Time. Take the 1st step to finding more family time today.

Now that the end of the year is upon us, it may be a great time to spend the last few days of 2008 getting some areas of your life in order. Here are a few suggestions that you can work on a little each day, so that you’ll be able to start the year fresh in 2009.

1. A task a day. Count how many days are left in the year. Then, grab a sheet of paper and list tasks you’ve been meaning to do–one for each day remaining in 2008. Do a task a day, until they’re all completed.

2. Start a new calendar. Get yourself a new calendar and fill in any special dates or events you already know about. Go a step further by highlighting similar dates in the same color, such as all birthdays in green, all meetings in blue and all medical appointments in yellow.

3. Make a donation drop. Grab a large plastic bag and inventory your closets, cupboards and drawers for anything you no longer need, but is in good condition. Drop these items in the bag and drive them over to your favorite charitable organization. (If you have kids, donate toys they no longer play with. This is always good practice right before Christmas before the new toys arrive from Santa.)

4. Weed out your filing cabinet. Go through each file folder one by one and get rid of anything outdated or no longer useful. Even if you spend just 15 minutes each day until the end of this year doing this, your filing cabinet will have gained some extra space.

5. Organize your goals. What do you want to accomplish in 2009? Write down your top 10 goals, and then prioritize them so that your most important goal is at the very top of your list. Once January 1st rolls around, begin working on goal number one. Once that goal is met, begin working on goal number two, and so on until you’ve reached all (or most) of your goals for the year.

Grab your free and easy tips on home organization here –> http://reallifesolutions.net/oorganized-home.html

Giving gifts to our family and friends is the core of the holiday season but is one of the biggest stressors for work at home moms. We are already stretched for precious time and we know the difficulty of balancing clients with family. It’s a constant juggling game between the two and when we add all the holiday preparations to our overflowing lists, all the fun is often sucked right out of the holiday season.

Now is the time to make a plan of action and get organized with all that needs to happen before the holidays are upon us. Here are some practical tips for easing into the holidays from one WAHM to another:

Take control of your finances early, before your holiday shopping begins, and develop a realistic budget to follow. If you can avoid using credit cards and only pay cash for gifts, you will breathe easier in January when the credit card bill arrives. Paying cash helps you stay on budget and will prevent you from making any rash decisions or buying outlandish gifts.

Prior to driving to the mall, make a list of your gift ideas for each person so you won’t be left wandering aimlessly from store to store, hoping for some divine inspiration. With the outrageous cost of gasoline, bundle your shopping trips to stores that are near each other. Your time is worth money to your clients and should be viewed as valuable by you, too.

Take advantage of your lunch break to shop online. Ordering online is a godsend when you need to ship items out of state. Paying for the online company to ship a gift is far less costly and time consuming than packing it up yourself and waiting with half the town in line at the post office.

Be focused and use any breaks in your work schedule to your advantage. Write out a few holiday cards or wrap a few presents in between client calls. Both tasks become more manageable when broken down into smaller time frames.

When you sit down to write your gift list with a nice cup of tea, decide if you will buy gifts just for family members or if you will also include your children’s teachers, bus drivers, garbage haulers, postal workers, religious education teachers, sports coaches…you get the drift. The list could get very long and break your budget if you don’t plan well.

A great gift idea for these “extra” people in your life is something homemade. If you are a big holiday baker, simply buy a few pretty tins and bake a few extra batches of your favorite cookies or breads. For those of you who do not bake, look for some recipes for making “Gifts in a Jar”. You can buy large or small mason jars at craft stores and you simply layer the dry ingredients of your favorite cookie recipe, close the lid, tie with pretty ribbon, and you have a lovely gift. Don’t forget to attach a copy of the recipe to the jar!

Organizing your holiday card list early will eliminate many headaches and hand cramps later on. Pare down your list, order your cards early, order your stamps online or with your postal carrier, and put all the addresses on computer labels. You can easily find labels with holiday designs and you can add a fun font for a customized look. Many card companies also offer to have your cards stamped with your family or business name, thus saving even more time.

Can you delegate any of the holiday prep to your older children or spouse? Your computer wizard teenager might be willing to input your holiday card list so you can print out address labels. Maybe an older child would be willing to babysit for the day so you can shop for gifts in peace. If you are preparing a holiday dinner, ask other relatives or friends to bring a dish. Older elementary school kids can help read recipes and layer the items in your gift jars.

Rather than build up your holiday as a Martha Stewart-recreation, complete with handmade gift wrap, make your holiday plans realistic to suit the needs of your family and your schedule. Focus instead on the peace, love and joy in your life and take time to count your many blessings.

Need a Little More Balance & A Whole Lot More Contentment?

I don’t have to tell you that today’s woman is BUSY. She has so many roles in life from career woman to mother to wife and more. And often times, as women, we end up working so hard caring for everyone else’s needs that we sometimes forget about our own.

If you need a little more balance in your life, time to care for yourself (without ANY guilt) and a little confidence boost, I recommend picking up the “Journey to Joy” toolkit by Aurelia Williams.

Aurelia is a Certified Life Coach and has put together some practical resources to help you find that joy in your life. There’s no need to spend your days pretending to smile on the outside and being a stressed out wreck on the inside. It is possible to have it all…on your own terms.

The toolkit includes:

- Journey to Joy guide that will help you
 - Get rid of negative thoughts and “Mommy Guilt”
 - Breaking bad habits and choose healthier ones for a happier and healthier you
 - Easy-to-use to tips to boost your self-confidence
 - Techniques to reduce your stress levels
 - Finding more positive time for yourself

 Plus you can download extra audio recordings, guides and worksheets to help you with everything from balancing your life, reducing stress and taking action on what you’ve learned in the Journey to Joy guide.

Get all the details and grab yours at: http://www.reallifeguidance.com/journey-to-joy.html

Your kids are screaming, they’re breaking things left and right, they’re arguing with each other constantly and making you nearly pull your hair out with all the messes they create. You find yourself wishing that they would hurry up, get older and move out already.

The next thing you know, your wish has come true. The little chickadees have grown up, spread their wings and flown the coup. You’re now looking at an empty and unbearably quiet nest that has left you feeling lonely. That wish you made years ago; now seems more like a curse.

Empty nest syndrome will happen whether you like it or not; but you can make it a little easier on yourself by making those precious moments when the children are younger and enjoy them as precious memories when the nest becomes lonelier after they leave.

Here are some ways to create some precious family moments to look back on as the years go by:

Kick up your Family portraits- Having some serious family portraits done is certainly a great thing to do, but why not kick it up a bit and have a second one done that’s sillier or fun. Use a theme like western days and wear cowboy hats or have everyone, including the men, wear dresses for the second one. Wouldn’t it be fun to look back on each portrait and reminisce about the fun you had when you had that picture taken?

Journal your family vacations- Along with taking pictures, journal some of the fun things you did or the funnier moments that were unexpected. When you put the pictures in a scrapbook, you can include some tidbits of the vacation. Years later, when you’re looking through this scrapbook, you can bring up memories of great times that you may have forgotten.

Make the most out of some of the more mundane activities- Family picnics can be great times to get together as a family, but most people tend to just go to eat, and chit chat. Sometimes, that can be nice, but change things up a bit once in awhile. Have each person in the family be in charge of some aspect of the picnic. You could plan silly games, water fights, have creative ideas for the food, etc. What are you more likely to remember? A picnic where you sat and talked the whole time or one where you had a water fight and ate only green colored foods?

Movie night- A lot of people engage in family movie nights. They pick a night of the week and either go to the movie theater or rent something to watch at home. That can certainly be fun, but why not make this night a little more interesting. Make your own movie. Get together as a family and plan a short, but funny movie that the whole family can participate in. If needed, get a friend on board to tape the movie for you, so no one has to be left out.

Memories of your years together as a family are priceless. No one can ever put a price that could do this justice. Make the most of your family moments and create memories that will have you smiling and laughing for years to come.

Being a mom is extremely rewarding, but it’s challenging. Get the help you need at Real Life Guidance. It’s your place for instant downloadable help for moms, day or night.

The holidays can cause total chaos and turn into a stressful occasion if you’re not careful. This year, take care of yourself and use these tips for staying stress free during the holidays.

Stress Free Holiday Tip #1: Stay healthy. Focus on your health during this holiday season and it will probably make a much bigger difference than you could ever imagine. Pay attention to what you eat. Stay away from junk food and nibbling throughout the day. It’s hard not to taste-test your dishes, but remember that every bite adds up to pounds and inches.

Stress Free Holiday Tip #2: Stay fit. Make a special effort to hit the gym as often as possible. The holidays are a stressful time and everyone is rushing around in a flurry of commotion. Stop and make time to stay fit. Even if you can only fit in a 30-minute workout twice a week, that’s better than nothing. You can work out a lot of your frustrations in a single 30-minute workout.

Stress Free Holiday Tip #3: Stay calm. When you feel anxiety rising, take a deep breathe and hold it in for a ten count. Slowly release your breathe, then take another deep breath in. Repeat this simple exercise three or four times, until you feel calm again. Remind yourself that you are only one person. You can’t do everything all at once or on your own. If you need help, ask for it. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself calm.

Stress Free Holiday Tip #4: Stay happy. When you are stressed out to the max, it is difficult, at best, to find a ray of sunshine. However, if you are unhappy, everyone around you will notice this. Follow the three tips above, then smile. Sometimes smiling, even when you don’t feel like smiling, will lighten your mental load. Give it a try. Smile and be happy.

Stress Free Holiday Tip #5: Don’t do it all. We often overload ourselves during the holidays, promising to bake cupcakes for school, cook dinner for all the family, volunteer at the shelter and buy gifts for everyone we’ve ever known. There really is no need to do so much. Yes, it’s great to give back but do it within reason and don’t stretch yourself too far.

Try to remember what the holiday season really is all about and take some time to relax and enjoy this special time of year.

For More free Holiday tips, visit Real Life Solutions Holiday Page.

Are you tired of hearing all the grumbling and complaining around your house?  Do you ever find yourself just feeling down for no reason?  Maybe it’s time the family has a positive attitude adjustment.  It may take some time to get everyone in the swing of things, but before you know it everyone will be enjoying life more.

Growing up, many of us heard “Can’t died in the poor house”; meaning that saying you can’t do something will get you no where.  How can you bring that phrase to life? Simple –put it into practice. Set up a money jug, and every time someone says something negative, they have to contribute a set amount of money, like a nickel, every time.  You could make it a contest, maybe even between the kids and the adults. Whoever wins by being the most positive, having the least amount of money in their jar after a set period of time, gets both jugs of money.

If you don’t want to deal with using change, you could keep a chart.  Figure out what the reward will be for having a better attitude. Instead of penalizing people when they are negative, you could give a point every time someone is “caught being good” or being especially positive. You could even award bonus points if they are positive despite something disappointing happening, like failing a test at school. 

Another idea is having a time set aside to just share what we’re thankful for. Even though most people do this at Thanksgiving, it is a good thing to do year round.  We tend to take the good things for granted. By being thankful more often, it’s hard to be negative.  Just shifting your focus that little bit can make a huge difference.

A praise board is another way to help the family be more positive.  Set up a bulletin board somewhere everyone will see it.  Give each family member a section of it, or maybe even use small, separate ones for each of the kids on their bedroom doors.  Then everyone gets index cards and they have to write something nice about the person and put it on their board.  Tell each other the things you appreciate about them. Give them compliments.  Encourage them if they are down about something.  When the board is full, take the cards down and put them in a file box. Then if they have a bad day, they can either look at their board, or back through the box of cards with encouraging words just for them.

By just making a few changes, it is amazing how quickly the household’s mood can change.  The little things can really mean a lot.  Once your family starts being more positive with each other, take it a step further and share your good mood with your family and friends.

P.S. Grab your copy of Journey To Joy, your step by step guide to help gain the happiness that you deserve and to help you maintain a positivie attitude visit ALSO stop by Real Life Coaching and sign up for a coaching pagage of your choice and receive a 20% off discount between now and Jan. 31st.

P.O. Box 92439
Washington, DC 20017

Teachers work hard all year with our children. If you are looking for a special gift for your child’s teacher this year, why not try something different this year.

Here are a few gifts for teachers’ ideas:

1. Stationary with pens
2. Coffee mug with gift certificate to their favorite coffee bar
3. Homemade cookies and candy
4. Mini scrapbook or photo album, ready to insert pictures into
5. Candy-filled glass bowl
6. Books from their favorite author
7. Keepsake box
8. Small jewelry box
9. “Pamper Me” basket, filled with bubble bath, soaps, body lotions, etc.
10. Deliciously-scented candles
11. Handmade cookbook, filled with your special/favorite recipes
12. Gift certificate for “two” to the movies
13. One dozen of her favorite flowers
14. Scarf, knitted by you
15. Small bottle of favorite perfume
16. Personalized keychain
17. Personalized gift basket, filled with all her favorite things
18. Tote bag with name or initial embroidered on the front
19. Pretty refrigerator magnets
20. Potpourri jar
21. Handmade soaps or lotions
22. Handmade pillar candles
23. “Why you’re special to me” book – Purchase a small notebook or journal. Have each kid in the class write why their teacher is special to them. Present it to the teacher as a class.
24. Surprise party
25. Decorative watering can, filled with pretty flowers or greenery
26. Variety of specialty teas inside a china teacup
27. Home cooked meal, delivered at the day/time of teacher’s preference
28. Monetary donation in teacher’s name, to her favorite charity
29. Custom made charm bracelet
30. Food baskets (fruit, canned foods, specialty items, etc.)

One of the hottest topics lately seems to be Goal setting & Goal Getting.

Setting good, clear goals is a powerful process for both your personal and professional well-being.  By setting goals on a routine basis YOU decide what you want to achieve and then move step-by-step towards achieving these goals.

I always encourage women to make an effort to spend time setting sharp and clearly defined goals.  One of the beautifully empowering things about goal setting is that you can measure and take pride in the achievement you make as you get closer to your goals. By setting goals, you will also raise your self confidence as you recognize your ability and competence in achieving the goals that you have set.

The process of setting goals allows you to choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know what you have to concentrate on to do it.

Remember, your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.

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Action Steps
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Here are a few action steps for you to take into consideration when working on setting and pursuing your goals:

Goal Setting & Getting   <— BTW I am offering a 20% off special on any of my coaching packages through Jan 31st.